Thursday, April 2, 2009

Missed it by that much...

When I started this blog it was April 1st. But by the time I went through all the formalities and made my first post it had become April 2nd, too late for me to back out with the lame cry of "April Fools". So now I'm stuck. I guess I'll just have to buck up and start typing. I fear this is going to take an extraordinary amount of time, other aspects of my life are sure to suffer. Work will be pushed aside, bills will go unpaid, dishes will pile up in the sink, dirty laundry will be strewn around the house, personal hygiene will be neglected, the wife and kids will have to resort to extreme measures to break my attention away from the computer...
Hey wait a minute, that's exactly the way things are right now around here. Could it really get any worse? Well perhaps if I don't pay the electric bill very soon my blogging career will come to a screeching halt as the screen goes dark.

You know last night I was having some second thoughts about the title I chose for my blog, actually some other possibilities came to mind. For example,"Birdshit on your Doorhandle" kinda sets the mood, or how about "Ayahuasca in the Kool Aid" you'll understand how that might be appropriate a little later on down the road, or " Transgression Confession Digressions" has a nice flow to it, don't ya think? My personal favorite though has got to be "Bodacious Bouncing Boobies". After all I'm a guy and that's all guys really think about anyway. And heck if I put "boobies" in the key words, traffic to this blog would go out the roof. Where would the Internet be without boobies? Probably lining up behind the banks and the auto companies looking for a government bailout. Speaking of bailouts, it touched me so deeply to hear that Barack Obama cares so much about us that he will personally see to it that the Federal government will take care of any warranty problems on my new GM or Chrysler automobile. Did I miss the part where he announced the new government "Car Stamp Program" that will provide vouchers to po' folk like me so we can acquire one of those sleek shiny new cars? Just curious, where in the constitution does it list new car warranties as part of the role of the federal government, oh I see it's right there where it says "promote the general welfare" written between the lines in very small print just like in the 2nd amendment where it explains that we are not actually the "People" that were being referred to when it comes to the right to bear arms. But I digress...

Perhaps now that I have the attention of the whole world, before I start ranting I should say some nice things about some nice people. First up would be my sister since she was the first one to sign up as a follower of this rambling screed. One of these days when I figure out all the complexities of bloglife I will sign up as a follower of her blog but in the meantime this is her link.
This is the place to go when you want to read about a couple of city folks adjusting to life on the farm, living with 2 horses, 4 pit bulls, an unknown amount of birds and one ferret and about finding antiques and creating found art and all that kind of homey stuff. Kind of like that old show "Green Acres" except that my sister doesn't have anywhere near the amount of shoes and pocket books that Zsa Zsa Gabor had.(Or was it Eva Gabor, memory fails me.) They also don't have the water tower where the young farmer's daughter would sneak a bath until the train passing by causes her to jump up thus exposing her bodacious bouncing boobies to the leering TV audience. In other words it's not a blog that you have to worry about exposing your kids to. It's sort of analogous to milk and cookies as opposed to what you'll get here which is more like week old, moldy, dumpster pizza served with gravel tea.

Next up would be my most lovely and talented wife. She very talentedly writes and sings lovely songs and has also lovingly help produce and homeschool two lovely and talented boys all while putting up with and actually loving this not so lovely or talented blogger. Here is her link.

My oldest son is an amazingly talented sculptor and make up artist who wants to do special effects stuff for movies. Here is his site.

My younger son is an incredible movie maker specializing at this time in stop motion Lego animation. He plans to be a big time movie director. Check out his films.

Alright, so that's it for the niceties for now. Despite my lovely and talented family the world is completely fucked up. When I was young I used to read Mad Magazine. I loved parody and satire. These days Mad Magazine can't compete with the absurdities of the real world. Do any of you lobsters out there notice the water is getting mighty warm? Would you like to know what is really going on in the world? Well I'm not gonna tell you. I'm not ready to start writing a book. But this guy has, quite a few of them in fact, and his explanation is as good as any place to start. Pull up a chair, grab some cookies and watch this interview.

Some of you, after having watched that interview might possibly be outside on the ledge wondering if it might not be a good idea to jump. If that's the case let me try to calm things down a bit. Recently I have been reunited you might say with an old friend. Anyone who grew up in NY in the 70's and liked good music might remember WNEW-FM. Well that station is long gone but one of it's great personalities survives and he continues to broadcast his freeform radio show on the weekends at Vin Scelsa has introduced me to more new and old great music than anyone in the world. More than just the music, he is such a pleasure to listen to, the most real and lovable voice radio has ever known. I lost him in my life over 20 years ago when I moved away from NY, but now thanks the magic of the world wide web he is back and I don't even have to worry about missing his show because they are available to download and listen to anytime on my IPOD from here. So if you find yourself out on a ledge make sure you have a way to listen to Idiot's Delight. I guarantee you won't jump at least for the 4 hours it takes to hear the whole show. And by then you'll be hungry for a snack and you'll climb back in the window and you'll realize there's no place like home.

My head hurts. Good night all.


  1. Boy, am I gonna have to step up the program or start reading the dictionary to rebuild an atrophy-ing mind- in order to compete with this!!! Thanks for the kind words about my "G" rated Green Acres blog!!! (It was Eva, by the way,not Zsa Zsa)

  2. I enjoyed hearing about your view of the world, your love for your family and for some reason, i think you're only warming up!